519. Hearts and Bones - Paul Simon

I bloody love a bit of Simon and Garfunkel. Their greatest hits was a common theme heard in my house growing up, and so it has a natural nostalgia that is pretty heart-warming. I don't know the ins and outs of why they split up, but I guess it was an ego thing. Given the consistency of their combined output, we can but imagine the stellar collection they would have achieved with decades working together.

This album apparently started as a potential Simon and Garfunkel reunion album, following their huge success at the concert in Central Park. Paul Simon had released five albums before this point, with several major successes. This one, however, was a commercial flop, reaching only 34 in the UK, and 35 in the US. It has been retrospectively heralded as some of his best work, which is why it appears in this book. Following this failure, Simon felt completely lacking inspiration, and it was through a chance musical encounter that he decided to travel to South Africa to record the remarkably successful Graceland.

Allergies starts things in a fashion that is rather mixed. Musically it is classic 80s, with a huge array of instruments, and some very bizarre studio effects overlaid on most of them. Lyrically, it is one of the strangest things I have ever listened to - I can't work out what the point of it is. Is he allergic to his music, or his love, or both, and frankly, why is this the subject of a song? I've kept trying to work out what the metaphor is for this, but I'm none the wiser after a week of pontificating. Hearts and Bones is slightly more mainstream, but that can also be read as Middle of the Road. Because it is in that saccharine, over-produced, under-baked manner that waning pop stars sometimes fall back on. Numbers get Serious is weird, but a bit more interesting at least - possibly written with Art Garfunkel in mind, who has a Maths Masters Degree from Columbia. Think Too Much (b) is the best song on the album, with a catchy xylophone riff (if that is even a thing), a theme that makes sense, and Simon's voice at its best. It's still a bit fruity, complete with what sounds like a bleating lamb at the beginning, but I can forgive it that. Song about the Moon is ok, but unless I'm listening to it at the time, I can't remember a thing about it; it's the musical equivalent of plain yoghurt. Think Too Much (a) should be renamed Overthinking and playing a musical concept too much. Covering your own song with a slightly more upbeat backing is just album filler, plain and simple. Train in the Distance is catchy and has a bit of swagger about it, and Simon's voice is like a soothing hot chocolate. Rene and Georgette Magritte with their dog after the War is an attempt at painting an image of the surrealist artists. The key word there is attempt, though apparently Rolling Stone rate it as one of Paul Simon's best songs ever, so there you go. Cars are Cars is possibly the most bizarre 3 minutes mainstream pop song I have heard, including this album's opener. Cars are indeed cars Paul, yes, all over the world. A car doesn't stop becoming a car when it is in India, for example. As a tautologically defunct statement, it is up there with the best, and indeed worst. The Late Great Johnny Ace is a tribute to Johnny Ace and John Lennon, and as such, I'm afraid that it makes me care about them less. In that respect, it sums the album up nicely.

This album is not that bad, but it's not very good either; it's the first one I'm really clueless as to why it is in this book. I mean, John Zorn at least gave me a benchmark above which all other music will be placed, which is useful in itself. No single song on this album really does enough to justify its inclusion, as even the best song has a crappy version of itself two tracks later. This was definitely an auditory week I could happily have done without. Indeed, I've spent much of it listening to the new Nick Cave album, which is unsurprisingly excellent. Listen to that instead of this. Please.

Chloe's rating: 6

Chloe's favourite track: 2. Hearts and Bones

Olly's rating: 4

Olly's favourite track: 4. Think Too Much (b)

So after a few meh weeks, the next one is a belter - 440. Off the Wall by Michael Jackson. Yes, yes, oh yay.